• Broadkill Review

"Now Boarding"

By Darren Morris


INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL, CHICAGO

IN LINE AT GATE

A woman, MOLLY, dressed in a straw hat, sweater vest, frizzy, messy hair, large-framed glasses, wearing a fanny pack is standing near the end of the line at the third and final set of tired passengers. She holds an elaborate key ring around which a bulk of plastic cards or badges from loyalty program memberships are strung and fan out.


MOLLY

(sorting through badges) Where are you, darlin’?

(turning toward the man behind, proudly but apologetically)

So many, I get lost in them. Look here, I made bronze at a car rental program - and I don’t even drive.


The fellow passenger behind her in line, CHARLES, humors her and nods.


CHARLES

I thought all that stuff was electronic these days.


MOLLY

(Surprised)

Firstly, what do you mean stuff? It’s a bit more important than that, don’t you think?


CHARLES

(Humored)

I suppose it is...

(and then as an aside to MOLLY, with some emphasis, indicating with a nod the higher classes of passengers boarding before them)

...to some.


MOLLY

(Covering her mouth)

O, them. Don’t you feel sorry for them? They make them get on first and wait the longest.


CHARLES

Seems like we wait for them.


MOLLY

Don’t be silly. We are the guests of honor. When we come strutting in, we have an audience. Pretty soon, wheels up and you’re flying.


CHARLES

And what are the other benefits?


MOLLY

Seat choice. I always ask for the middle, and I always get it.


CHARLES

But what about first class?


MOLLY

They board first because they are the worst cases. Lost. Lonely.

Isolated. Have you ever tried striking up conversation with someone in...

(holding up finger quotes)...first class?


CHARLES

I suppose it is frowned upon.


MOLLY

Only by them, friend. And look at us.

(holding out her hand) Molly.


CHARLES

(Accepting her hand) Charles. Pleasure.


MOLLY

Your last name is Pleasure? I want to know you, I think.


CHARLES

O, no, I mean it is a pleasure meeting you.

(Still unsure it is)


MOLLY

I made silver this year.


CHARLES

(No reaction)


MOLLY

That’s silver, bub. On my very first year in the program.


CHARLES

(Finally catching on, sympathetically in mock surprise)

Ahhh.


MOLLY

Silver is preferred.


CHARLES

(Faux formally) Yes, well, certainly.


MOLLY

No other metal on the earth is as reflective as silver. You want to see yourself? Behold, silver. Not to mention silver’s practical value to conductivity. Nothing is faster. Form balanced with function. Can’t be beat.


CHARLES

(Surprised) Is that so?


Molly, sifts through her ring of badges.


MOLLY

Here it is!


Holding up the badge, showing it to Charles.


MOLLY

M-o-l-l-y in raised letters. Hand make every one of them at our level.


CHARLES

All those are different loyalty programs?


MOLLY

My pride and joy.


CHARLES

I didn’t know there were so many. And all in your possession.