"The Spider Mother" by Aarron Sholar

I befriended a spider mother at work. She lives in a metal door frame. Well, not in the frame, but

in a part of the frame where the door would not crush her. I noticed her one morning while

performing my opening walkthrough. It was her and her small sack. We made eye contact every

day, but never exchanged words. I like to think that I could sense her upcoming motherhood, and

she could sense mine. But her pregnancy is much easier than mine. The spider mother does not

have to feel her ribs shift inside of her. The spider mother does not have to deal with fatigue that

makes work difficult. The spider mother does not rely on vitamins. The spider mother does not

have to worry how every food she eats affects her babies. The spider mother does not have to

create a pile of clothes that she wants to keep but cannot fit in right now. The spider mother does

not get stares while grocery shopping. The spider mother does not freeze at work when her

coworker asks to touch her belly and then goes ahead before getting an answer. The spider

mother does not panic when a patient walks in to see it happen. The spider mother does not feel

supported by a fiancé but lonely at the same time. Yet the spider mother does not get to feel her

babies move, come to life, inside of her.

Aarron Sholar is the author of “The Body of a Frog: A Memoir on Self-Loathing, Self-Love, and Transgender Pregnancy” (2024) and “A Path Towards Pregnancy: Musings of 2023” (2025). His essays have been nominated for The Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net and he holds an MFA from MSU, Mankato as well as a BA from Salisbury University. He serves as the Prose Editor for Beaver Magazine.