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Paul Perreault, one poem


Agoraphobia

It was when I turned the clocks

back

I remember the freedom

the fear

When my foot first crossed

the threshold

of the large fiberglass front door

downstairs

It must have been months

ago

I remember how bright the sun was

Beyond my four walls

I haven’t cared to bother

With time

Time is for those with time

Mine was up years ago

Now I wait

I’m not happy

certainly

Happy people don’t make

Friends out of

curtains

blankets

pillows

But they are there for me

Warm, reliable, stable

They are there

I don’t want to die

But living’s no good, either

I no longer choose to choose

So I wait

In my dark room

To see which gives first.

 

Paul Perreault has traveled through most of the United States, driving stakes and eating fire with two of the three last remaining traditional American carnival sideshows. He has been featured in two Ripley’s Believe it or Not’s and festivals across the country. When not performing, he leads therapeutic writing workshops within mental health units. He currently lives in Upstate New York and will soon receive a M.A. in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University.


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