What if I’m so fat I won’t fit through the door?

Will they still like me?

I lost 35 pounds

on Dr. Frank’s protein-sparing liquid fast.

On my way to the ladies’ room

I hear Now, Susanne, she’s lost a lot of weight…

catch the culprit’s eye.

The group shuffles, grins

changes the subject.

Dude in the elevator: Looking good.

Checks me out, leers at me

above the waist.

Who would like me when I don’t like myself?

David says You don’t hate yourself.

I say You don’t know what you’re talking about.

I have lots of reasons to hate myself.

Gaze into the mirror:

I’m on the outside looking at two of me.

Self staring at Susanne

Susanne staring at self.

In my bathroom mirror

ladies’ room mirror at the office

have to break the spell.

How to break the spell –

touch something real – my face?

There’s no there there

but I’m in here somewhere.

Flying Delta to Atlanta to visit Mama

my flab escapes airplane seats.

I ask for the seat-belt extender.

Attendant stage-whispers:

Here’s what you wanted.