Emily & the world
Tedious summer sun
refuses setting,
keeps time —
makes mind
of buzzy bees.
There was bird,
then there wasn’t.
Bird bring night,
plead —
wingspan measured
aloft.
Let bird free only
to know it never was
bird.
Bird is neck, collared
promise —
hand held out
until it can’t.
& how to account
for the bird who’ll sing
after the moon rises?
Dear Emily,
The church next door
has left its chapel light
on for days —
how the slant of light
in October draws sharp
breath, heat
rising across an afternoon
even as sun sinks
into lake.
Like asking water
not to quell thirst.
Like dressing down
a god for its power.
Kindred anger pried
from deep reserves —
glance of spirit
refracted, deflected
through no fault
of its own.
Dear Emily,
A performance
of such magnitude
the bashful bird
was bowled over.
Empty gratitude
isn’t an answer.
Phantom ligament
or alkaline ache;
cut open once,
twice, becoming
jagged map
directing Nobody.
Violent overwhelm
washes the path
in yellows & blues.
She was saturated,
set the mettle aside
& attempted quiet.
Longhand calculation
is imprecise in scope
& inelegant.
Grief dawns slow
on the autumn lawn
& there are many
leaves to pile.
Dear Emily,
I deserve
your reply.
The page
is silent.
Little ember
amid dust.
Steady burn
sustained.
I deserve
Nobody.
Nobody
arrives.
But Emily —
Where is
perspective,
groaning Sisyphus
pushing blame
uphill —
grudge
as prayer
in no hurry.
We eke out
freedom.
We break
breath, spill
praise;
scrape the best
bits of ourself,
together.
But Emily —
The shore is
walking away.
I build a lighthouse,
dazzle at night,
blaze through dreams.
& if the clear known road
winds sharp,
fly here to me.
Marisa Siegel holds an MFA from Mills College in Oakland, CA. Her essay "Inherited Anger" appears in the acclaimed anthology BURN IT DOWN (Seal Press, 2019) and her poetry chapbook FIXED STARS is out now from Burrow Press. Find her online at marisasiegel.com.