"Halfway" by Elissa Matthews

I wrote a poem about my mother—more specifically, about the chasm between us, and

my futile attempts to connect with her. My writing group said it was too short. They wanted me

to fill the empty spaces, expand the emotions, include more sensory detail. I wanted to bang my

head on the table. It wasn’t about the specific sharp words we’d used, or the way my hands felt

washing the dishes as we argued. It was about the effort. The many efforts. About building a

bridge as far as I could to reach someone who, in her own pain, could not reach back.

I think of my poems as droplets. If their ripples travel far enough, the outermost ring will

touch someone. Selfishly, I want that someone to do part of the work. My poem will build a

bridge this far and no farther; I want people in my life who will meet me halfway.

In the end, my writing group convinced me to include just one specific moment:

When I got to college, I didn’t have to clean my plate. I didn’t have to choke down food

when I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t have to swallow every extra portion my mother piled on, because

she had her figure to maintain, and all that food couldn’t just go to waste. I lost ten pounds in the

first three months. My mother was so insulted, she turned away and didn’t speak to me all

Thanksgiving break.

My writing group declared the poem infinitely better. They suggested I should consider

other additions. Not a lot, to be sure, maybe just a bit more detail. But describing all the ways

people fail to connect would require more time, and rope, and would still fray at the end.

So there’s my bridge. Short. If there’s a gap on the far side, and some mud, I don’t mind,

do you?

Elissa Matthews was born, raised, and began working in New Jersey, but eventually launched on a journey of discovery, exploring many jobs, including bartender, cook on a prawn trawler, and cold-water SCUBA diver. She once again lives in New Jersey, twelve miles down the road from where she grew up. She has one published novel, "Where the River Bends", and a collection of short stories, "Bittersweet and Magic". Her short stories and poetry have appeared in several journals and anthologies.