Executive from Europe’s Most Diverse & Inclusive Company of 2019 Retweets
I’m sitting in an A-frame house // thinking about // stochastic parrots // and a way to rationalize // the present is not a gift // cancel // my subscription to capitalism // as the whisk breaks into bits // and crackles of bacon // wait for the moderator to start // drink CBD // iced coffees // a poem // is not an egg to crack // but I can tell you // how we have the power to // flip the pancakes // we told them // about the tweets // and they hired // a reputable external firm // to perform // a mess of a coverup // finished the months-long review // in February but // everything remains public // ly accounted for // a selfied mirror lamp // and billions of dollars worth // of brains on shrooms // start up like lawnmowers // they’re all racist // transphobic // conspiratorial // & sexist // until proven innocent // if you think this is bad // just wait till I tell you // about the board member // who blamed // the benefit cuts on // “distressed babies” // likely to be overlooked // Armstrong’s logic was // the subject of // lengthy discussions // at Google they got // $105 million // the two executives accused // quietly resigned and retired // to their Connecticut homes // but the walkouts occurred // on November 1 // 2018 // at approximately // 11 am // now they can only tolerate // online research that supports // the bottom line // of it is // they’ll do anything // to protect each other // when Gebru abruptly left Google // they weren’t powerful enough // to withstand // the backlash because // anyone should be able to critique // these companies // without repercussion // and by the way // HR // if you’re reading this // it’s too late // the double-standards here // are so clear // so I dare you // to dehumanize us more // she recounted // the one incident // where she was called // “obtuse” // to the outside world // respects her more // and this is the one thing // we’ve got to use // because these boobs // can’t distinguish // their left from their right // they should have no right // to rewrite // our rights // on this world wide // web.
Team Standup
Morning, everyone!
So things I can no longer talk about
Without barfing
Include:
Experimenting on other humans
Tones of emails
Growth plans &
Imposter syndrome
Thankyew.
I need
A galactic glass of iced coffee
Gaslit
By “I’ll look into it’s”
Voluntold to take a bite
Into the economics of
Doughnuts, dying, & dancing in the streets
Yesterday I worked on
My List of Genius Ideas
Including:
Bop-It inspired sex tattoos
Wine shoes
Single-women dog cams and
Vibrators that can count calories*
*All of these ideas were pattentend prior to the publication of this poem - so don’t steal them!
The canals are broken into mirrors today we’re worth
More addicted, narcissistic, polarized, and misinformed
What if we levitated into love?
Instead of falling for it?
Today,
I’ll get into a fight with my trash can
And fix the washing machine
So the water’s moving again
Green
I’d rather do my drudges when it’s dreary
Anyway since none of the Dutch
Wear masks or have spatial awareness
When it’s sunny
Why can’t anyone get a flat white in this city after six?
Maybe I’ll move to New Zealand
Start spreading the news cuz
Baby,
I’m an anarchist
Say “hi” to the statues and pretend they’re stoned
Tourists breathe
Cuz once they take the trees
And the tacky smell
Of cigarettes, Jaeger, fast food, & family
It’ll be our brains, beebee.
Kelly Mullins is an American writer, workplace organizer, and climate activist living in Amsterdam. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Boston Accent Lit, Pine Hills Review, Anti-Heroin Chic, The Allegory Ridge Poetry Anthology, Hash Journal, Maudlin House and In Parentheses. You can find her hanging out on instagram @kellmullins
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